April 2008       “Like father, like son” and “Like mother, like daughter” may not apply very often to you and your teenagers. But you’re having more of an influence on your kids than you may realize. We’ve always known that parents’ faith is important for kids’ spiritual development. Now some landmark research shows just how crucial your beliefs are. The National Study of Youth and Religion recently found that three out of four religious teenagers consider their own beliefs to be similar to those of their parents. What’s more, 77% of teenagers who belonged to a congregation said they expected to be part of a similar congregation at age 25. Teenagers aren’t likely to come right out and admit that their parents are serving as role models. Sometimes you probably feel like your kids don’t even want to associate with you. But another major NSYR finding is that most teenagers desire to have stronger relationships with their parents. They just aren’t sure how to make it happen. So that’s where you come in! It’s up to parents to take the lead with faith discussions in your home. When you’re passionate about your beliefs, that passion will be contagious. Academic studies and real-life examples prove that parents who strive to live out a devoted Christian faith raise kids who tend to do the same. Read on for tips and ideas about developing and passing along this passion. Helpful Hints NSYR researcher Christian Smith, author of Soul Searching, offers this advice for parents of teenagers: 1. Don’t be afraid of your kids or afraid of teaching them. Don’t worry about not seeming “cool” when you relate substantial truths. Teenagers desire to be challenged in their faith walk. 2. Work on your overall relationship with your teenagers. Organized youth groups are important, but kids benefit the most from significant bonds with mature, loving adults. Kids long to have respected grown-ups spend time with them “through the stuff of their ordinary lives,” Smith says. 3. Play an active role in youth ministry. For better or worse, you’re the most important “pastors” your kids will ever have. Instead of handing off all the responsibility of spiritual development to your church or a youth group, look for ways to get involved with these faith-formation efforts. Here are some more results from the NSYR: • Half of the teenagers surveyed said faith is “very important” or “extremely important” in their lives. • Only 8% of teenagers said they’re “spiritual but not religious.” • Teenagers who say their parents love, understand, or pay attention to them are more likely to be religiously devoted than are their peers who say their parents don’t love, understand, or pay attention to them. • Of the teenagers who attend worship services, 70% rate their congregation as a “very good” or “fairly good” place to discuss serious issues or problems. (National Study of Youth and Religion; Soul Searching)

	Although adolescence is a crucial time for faith formation, the process is never complete. Use these questions to talk with your kids about their under-construction beliefs: 1. How important is your faith to you? Would you say it’s your No. 1 priority? Why or why not? 2. What aspects of believing in God are the easiest and the hardest for you, and why? 3. Do you know someone who’s passionate about God? If so, what do you admire most about him or her? 4. Are you being a spiritual example, or mentor, for anyone right now? Explain. 5. If you could change one thing about our relationship, what would it be, and why?		1. God will strengthen your own faith and keep you focused on your relationship with him. 2. God will help you be a good spiritual example for your family and a trusted mentor for your kids. 3. Your teenagers will desire to grow closer to God and to you. 4. Your teenagers will remain passionate about their faith throughout their lives. Verse of the month “Praise the Lord! How joyful are those who fear the Lord and delight in obeying his commands. Their children will be successful everywhere; an entire generation of godly people will be blessed.” (Psalm 112:1-2) As our heavenly Father, God is worthy of our honor, respect, and love. This mirrors the ideal relationship between earthly parents and their children. Parents aren’t perfect (just ask your teenagers!), but moms and dads who strive to live godly lives leave a lasting legacy for their kids—and for many generations to come. Obedience, whether it’s to God or to parents, results in joy and growth. Because God promises eternal “success” to those who trust in him, a spiritual heritage is the best gift you could ever give your kids.
	Great News, Mom and Dad! It’s not car keys, cash, an endless supply of entertainment, or invites to killer parties that make today’s teenagers the happiest. It’s not even hobbies or popularity. According to the latest research, it’s spending time with family! Yes, it’s true. Research conducted by the Associated Press and MTV (yes, MTV!) found that chillin’ with the fam ranked first on the happy-meter. Spending time with friends finished second, followed by spending time with significant others. Did you catch that? The top-three sources of happiness for kids today are based on relationships! Honorable mentions include “sports” in 10th place and “achieving success” in 20th. The happiness survey, more than 100 questions long, pried into almost every area of kids’ lives. It measured everything from money to spiritual experience to pets. Want the best news yet? Of the 1,280 young people polled (ages 13-24), 73% said Mom and Dad make them happy. Told you it was good news! (SimplyYouthMinistry.com)